I'm BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Friends and Followers, I am SOOOOOO sorry that it's been well, awhile, since I've posted anything. Dealing with this breakup from The Last Guy Who I Was Gonna Date has been a doozy, let me tell ya. I didn't use my "coping skills" very well, but with the help of some AMAZING friends and family, I see a light at the end of my tunnel, thank ya Baby Jeez!

I had my 100th date with Padre, who has become like family to me. So see girls, just because a boy doesn't like you doesn't mean you can't still be great friends. I had a great turnout and had tons of fans and friends show up for my 100th date. We danced to the musical stylings of The Fearless Four (go see them next time they play in Jackson) and had a marvelous time! And as happy as I was to meet my milestone, let me tell ya, it was such a sweet relief to be DONE. I put a lot of pressure on myself and had a lot of heartaches, but I really learned alot. This is what I learned on my anthropological study on dating.
1.) You cannot jump too fast too soon. It will only hurt you in the long run.
2.) It takes 3 weeks for the person you're dating to reveal his true self. And also your true self. This can be awesome, or this can be disastrous, but it happens, and YOU NEED for it to happen.
3.) Gay men and Sugar Daddies should always be in your life. ALWAYS.
4.) Take constructive criticism from your friends, sort out what they say, then take what you believe in your heart to make any decisions.
5.) ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT! Make it your best friend and learn to listen to it.
6.) If a man tells you he's crazy, jealous, controlling, etc. you had BEST believe him.
7.) If you pray with candles lit, and lay out everything for God to play it out, you'll get so much peace and answers from this activity. DO IT NOW or as soon as you can.
8.) Don't take every disappointment to heart. Hell, it IS them, if they can't see how awesome of a woman you are. Let them Press The Fuck On, and you do the same. PTFO!
9.) Don't make anyone stay in your life that's negative. Get rid of them ASAP, for they are the poison that's bringing you down. This applies to everyone-friends, exes, etc. GET'EM OUT and continue to PTFO to something that's not a killjoy.
10.) Don't try to force the square into a circle. It ain't gonna fit. Yeah, that guy you're dating may be the most prominent bush hogger in South MS, but if you feel things are not moving along in the way you feel comfortable with, reevaluate, make a decision, then PTFO.

I've had 102 dates so far, one was with my best gay friend (you can NEVER have too many of them), and one was with a great friend (Gothic Cowboy, from earlier posts.) I've had some "admirers", but to tell you the truth, I have no desire to date at the moment. My heart needs a break, and so does my social calendar. I needed the two months from blogging to "get my shit straight," and it's been good to just chillax for a moment. Now, I may still go on dates, but as far as on a hellbent husband hunt, no, I'm not doing that. I've got ALOT of things going great for me right now. I'm really excited about where my journey in this life is gonna lead me, because I'm keeping the faith and fighting the good fight. :)

Now to Bad Date I Had Last Week: This guy, who I've friended on FB, asked me to meet him at a club because he was playing with his band. Even though I was dog busted tired from working 14+ hours, I still managed to drag my tired tail up to his gig. We went outside to talk, and he bummed like 5 cigarettes from the folks standing around us. I told him I was going inside to get a beer, and he says, "Yeah, buy me one too." I looked a little discerning, but when in and got MYSELF a beer, and told him the bar was that a-way! He then starts telling me of all these "famous people" he knows, I guess trying to impress me (you know how musicians are. Well, guys in general, they're just trying to make themselves look good. Hey, I've told tons of stories about me meeting John Schneider, Bo Duke from The Dukes of Hazzard, so I get it. LOL!) I tell him it's about time for me to go on home and ask him if he'd walk me to my car. Dude looks at me and says, "Nah, that's OK. Don't really feel like it." What. The. Hell. As I was walking out, this guy says, "Ma'am, I'd love to walk you to your car. It's what guys do for a lady." How sweet. At least there's some good ones out there. (And by the way, my car was parked to a policeman so I felt safe having this random nice stranger walk me to my car. And I also had a switchblade and a can of Bengal wasp spray my deddy gave me because it's cheaper than Mace and sprays 50 feet, so I was ready.)

So, looks like this "non dating" scene may be funnier than the other ones. Y'all stay tuned and keep reading/following my crazy quest for love!

Victim of Love (so where's the support group?)

I am SOOO sorry I haven't written in awhile. It's been a crazy summer. Let's get y'all up to speed on what all has happened. I will tell you that someone reported my Facebook "Long Shot" page for being too "obscene," so when I find out who the hell it is they will have a BEAT ASS!

My SouljaBoy and I broke up back in June, and I was very upset about it because I was REALLY starting to fall hard for him. He distanced himself from me, and to add salt to the wound, rumors of him and infidelity began to surface, so we ended things amicably. Our last date was Date #82.

Then, out of the blue, along came a wonderful guy who proclaimed proudly he would be the last guy I would ever date. I fell and fell SUPER HARD, harder than I have with anyone I've ever dated in my 17 years of dating. We fell in love and I was ready to follow him to the ends of the earth, because, well, I loved him. My heart and head were in the game and ready to play. We soon had a reality check, figured we were rushing things too fast, and he decided to end things because of our distance between us (he lives in another state) and other issues. The Last Guy I Was Supposed To Date ended things after Date #91. We ended things amicably too, and have agreed to be friends, which I hope we can be. However, I'm so upset over this breakup and am taking it harder than any I've had in over 5 years. I am thankful for my dear and precious friends who have been here for me, not only for this breakup, but through every thing else.

OK, here's the deal: I believe that while I'm not a whore, unfortunately my heart is. I have been "in heavy like" with a few guys the last 10 months, almost one that I was in love with, and head over heels "IN LOVE" with the last guy. This is what I've learned so far:
1.) TAKE YOUR TIME
2.) TAKE YOUR TIME
3.) THERE'S NO SHOT CLOCK-TAKE YOUR TIME
4.) TAKE YOUR TIME and
5.) TAKE YOUR TIME!

I have 9 more dates before I make my 100, and truthfully, I don't know if I can do it. My heart feels so empty right now. I don't know if I have it in me. I've tried to keep an open perspective about this and keep my heart and head open, but it looks like my heart is quickly closing up. Maybe it's my fault for putting my heart out there on the line like that. Maybe I fall too hard too soon. I know that I'm not just trying to have a boyfriend for fuck's sake (ha, no pun intended.) There's been lots of guys I didn't like and didn't date, so I know I'm not desperate or just trying to "fill a gap." As a friend told me, I shouldn't be looking for love. Love should be looking for me. And that really is the truth. And the truth hurts.

Lucky #70 (and Dates 70-78)

I haven't blogged much about Soulja Boy, aka Eric. Since I've told about all my other dates, I wanted to see if the Good Ship Karma would maybe blow some good mojo my way if I DIDN'T write about Eric, so that's why you haven't heard from me in awhile. But I'm ready to tell the world about this guy, so here it goes:

Eric and I met at Nick's Ice House in Hattiesburg at one of my gigs with Clinton. We started chatting during the breaks, then he asked me to go to lunch with him the next day, which was really fun. The next weekend I was headed to the Coast and stopped by on my way down there and we hung out some more, then he came up Easter to see me. We've been pretty inseperable ever since. I really really like him. Eric is a good, sweet guy with a kind heart. He's from Pennsylvania, played college baseball at Westchester University, has a degree in exercise physiology, AND (this is awesome) is a massage therapist! He used to live in Washington, D.C. as a personal trainer there and always has great stories about his life there. He was also sargeant of his unit during his tour in Iraq when he joined the military after 9/11. Eric has been awarded the Purple Heart for his service in Iraq and I'm very proud of him for serving our country. He moved to Mississippi earlier in the decade for training, and as Mississippi does to those Northeners, he loved it so much he's been here ever since.

While it's only been almost 2 months since Eric and I have started seeing each other, we really like each other. He seems to care about me and has my best interest at heart. He also does little things for me, like pick me roses from the rose bush in his yard, got me a KISS lighter (y'all know how I feel about KISS!), just little things that are sweet and count. We do talk about where we are and what we want, and that's a good thing. We have great communication between us, and both of us will tell each other if things aren't fly in a New York minute.

He makes me laugh, we talk each other's heads off, he likes to dance, he's super sociable, he never lets me pay for anything, he helps me out of the car and opens doors, and I really really like him. I'm not even gonna go there and say "I hope he's the one" because, like the rest of the guys I've dated on this quest, I have to face reality and know that nothing is 100% guaranteed. However, I super duper like Eric and I'm so glad I met him. Hello, Match.com, can I have my money back? Thanks! Love, Natalie

PS: I did tell Eric about the blog and my quest for heterosexual companionship, and he absolutely LOVED the idea! He was very cool with it, and at first I wasn't gonna tell him about it, but we had a very deep yet sweet talk in my kitchen last night, and I knew it was the right time to talk to him about it. I think the funniest thing was when he said, "NOW I KNOW WHY EVERYONE IN JACKSON KNOWS WHO I AM!!" :)

Date 69-No Turning Around on This One

I am SOOO sorry to not have updated you on my dating conquests!

I had Date #69 with an engineer from Starkville. A very nice guy, but well, he was WAY too into getting married WAY TOO SOON than I was. And as Forrest Gump says, "That's all I have to say about that." :)

Date 68-Soulja Boy!!!!!

Wow! Talk about unexpected! I was singing with my good friend C last weekend in the Pine Belt, and ended up meeting a guy that night. He even called me the next morning and asked me to lunch, and we had a great time. On my way through his neck of the woods this weekend we're going out again, so I'm super excited!!!! He's in the military and is a Yankee, but I'm not holding that part against him. :) And what I like about him is that he actually PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS MY NUMBER AND WE TALK. What a new concept? I love me some texting, don't get me wrong, but if you're trying to get to know someone, spoken word to me is really the only way to go.

Fingers crossed on this'en!!!!!

Date #67-Silent Night

So, this guy met me after work one night for drinks, right? I'm looking forward to it because he seems like a nice guy, etc. He shows up and doesn't say SHIT. I mean, he is quiet for the duration of the date. I hate to work at conversation. HATE IT! Every answer was a one, two, or three word answer. Then he didn't even offer to buy me a drink. I had my own money to pay for mine, but still he could've offered. It was a very weird date. He's asked me out again, but now I'M the one who's gone silent.

The Fireman and I haven't really gone out much this week. We've both been busy, so it' s been OK. I'm just kinda laying low on the whole dating thing at the moment. I've got some interested, but I'm not. Or either the guys wanting to go out are super assholes, and Lord knows I don't have time for that either.

65 & 66 - RING THE ALARM!

So, I've had 2 dates with The Flame this week. He is sooo freakin' cool. Very laid back, seems to have a good head on his shoulders, works hard, likes to have fun but is a Christian, etc. We've seem to hit it off, but I dunno. Any minute this guy could fly the coop. I'm also wondering if him or any other guy will fit into my life. I am a busy girl and if you can't hang, then you don't need to be in the picture anyway. However, I like Flame and thinks he likes me too. We're just feeling each other out I guess. He's nice though-kudos for nice guys, which are a dying breed.

Date 64 and Weirdos on Every Corner

I had a really good date with Mr. Sweetie last Monday. We went to a local sports bar and shot the breeze about our weekend, our day at work, etc. I've spoken to him via text this week, but hardly doubt we'll go out again. Just didn't crank my tractor. Nice guy though. I hope I can maintain some type of friendship with him.

So, I met this guy through a dating website, told him that I would be at a certain bar here in town if he wanted to hang out. So, he comes to the bar, doesn't introduce himself or anything. Instead, he sits back and WATCHES me the whole time. So, later on that night, he texts me telling me about what I had on, what I was doing, who I was sitting with, etc. WEIRD! So, I finally meet him last night, and he said we'd hang out later on because he was at the same party with a group of friends. Well, today he tells me that he was watching me all night, what I was doing, blah blah blah. JUST WEIRD! He's gotta go-I don't know why he feels the need to "watch" me. I'm not scared though because I'm a good 2 heads taller than him and I'll whoop him if he even attempted to mess with me.

Been busy busy with work and other stuff, so the dating has had to take a backseat to all of my other extracurricular activities. Padre and I are still friends and he's now my neighbor. We hang out all the time and I'm glad we stayed friends. But, I'm beginning to get the Tin Man Syndrome. I'm just real hard hearted right now. With the Mississippi Hippie wanting to spend all of last weekend with me and then not hearing from him in over a week, it's getting harder on the old ticker with every fleeting disappointment each guy brings along into my life. I try to use my head instead of my heart so much. My friend Charlie says that you know it's a match when both the head AND the heart agree on someone. And I couldn't agree more.

My article in the Jackson Free Press

Love is Hell (But Ain’t It Grand)

riptheskull / Dave

by Long Shot
February 10, 2010

“I just want to find my soulmate.

“Gee, I hope I find Mr. Right soon.”

"I wanna find someone who’ll follow me to the jumpin’ off place” as my friend’s grandparents used to say.

Haven’t we all been a little optimistic that maybe, just maybe, that “someone special” is out there, just for us? Our “plus one”? I guess getting older and hearing my biological clock ticking loudly, as well as seeing my once-single friends haul their Vera Wang-wearing tails into the sunset with some fabulous man in a major love whoopass (thanks, Malcolm White), I can’t help but wonder if there’s anyone for yours truly. So, in fall 2009, I began my benevolent, inconspicuous and infallible quest for heterosexual companionship.

I met a man through friends who seemed to be “intrigued” with me, and asked me out. I half-heartedly agreed to go out with him, only because it had been forever since anyone had asked me out. We met at a local restaurant franchise, where he started right out of the gate being sexually inappropriate, paying for our meal with a coupon, then saying, “There’s plenty more where these came from, darling.”

Ugh.

As soon as the date was over, I called to tell my neighbors about what a horrific night I’d had, and they invited me over with open arms and an open bar. With the suggestion of my fab neighbors, Tom and Kitty Ramsey, I decided not only would I blog about my dating misadventures, but I would set out to go on 100 dates in a calendar year and blog about every date, both the good and the bad. So far, since September 2009, I have been on 57 dates and man, what a long strange love trip it’s been.

I have met some great guys on my journey for heterosexual companionship, but have also met some real duds. For instance, I had one guy on the third date ask me if he could stick his finger in my vagina. I also had a prominent realtor in the Jackson metro area send me a video of him shaking his “hoorah stick” with his parents’ Olan Mills church directory picture in the background. I also went out with a guy who, within 15 minutes of meeting, told me about his four failed marriages, four DUIs (he got two in 2009), and his two failed stints at rehab, before trying to kiss me.

I also went out with a guy whom I thought was gay. My favorite gay friends advised me to give him the “Gay Aptitude” test (I’ll be more than happy to share this with you if we ever meet), upon which, sadly, he made a 70—barely passing by my standards, so he had to go. On my blog “A Long Shot At Love”, I even play a song for the guys that just don’t make the cut: The Gap Band’s “You Dropped The Bomb On Me.”

My quest for Mr. Right hasn’t been without some heartache. I met “Holy Grail” in October, and he totally took the wind out of my sails. He was what I call an “Educated Bubba”: he lived in the country but had a master’s degree; he can skin a deer and write a thesis. When he called it off, I was totally heartbroken. I mean, I thought he was The One. And there have been a couple of other men that I thought might be a potential suitor, but instead they gave me the dreaded “F” word speech: “let’s just be friends.”

My quest for a major love whoopass hasn’t been easy. Dating and love is both hell and grand, all in one. There’s no even keel. While getting rid of the obvious Mr. Wrongs, it’s been kind of hard to dust off my britches and get back out there after so many disappointments. After the last friend’s speech I decided I was done with trying to find a decent guy, but my friends, blog followers, and Facebook fans wouldn’t hear of me quitting and encouraged me. I am forever thankful for these newfound reluctant life coaches.

Friends ask me what I’ve learned from my whole experience, and I have to say the most important things I’ve learned is to just be yourself and trust your gut instincts when dating. No one likes fake, and if you’re putting on a dog-and-pony show just to get some poor sucker to like you, you only set yourself up for failure (done it, didn’t get the T-shirt.) Plus by being yourself, you weed out the jerks and other “sundry folk” that happen to be in the dating pool along with you.

My anthropological study has not only helped me, but I think it has helped others, too. I’ve had women and men give me some great advice while also seeking mine. My “dating panel of expertsԗmen, women, straight and gay—have been supportive and also protective of me. And I can’t tell you how awesome it is to have such a safety net of support.

Putting myself out there and being so proactive was tough at first; it still is tough. But I refuse to give up on finding the right person for me, whether it takes 100 dates or a 1,000. So, if any of you fellas out there think I’m the woman for you, holla at me. But please, baby please, no videos.

Dates 58-63: WHAT A WEEK

Sorry for not writing earlier-besides trying to become a Grammy-winning artist, save the world, and catch at least 7 hrs. of sleep I've been on a damn dating tour!!!! Whew!

Date 58 was with a really sweet guy who I call Mr. Sweetie. He is SOOO nice! Our date was the night before National Singles Awareness Day (Valentine's) so we met at a local deli and had a great time. We plan on going out later on this week-I couldn't see him this week due to ANOTHER story I'll get to in a few. He's very nice, has great taste in music, and has a JOB. Good people, if you ask me.

Dates 59-62 were with a guy who I mean I REALLY LIKED named the Mississippi Hippie. Our first date was on Valentine's Day, and since we had both partied like rock stars they night before and ALL of the restaurants were packed on V-day, we made the executive decision to go to a pool hall to shoot pool and take over the Internet Jukebox, playing Wilco and Neil Young. I can't tell you how much fun we had! We hung out Monday night and Tues. night, but only to find out his ex-girlfriend had hacked into his email account and gotten my phone number, which she decided to call and threaten both of us the ENTIRE Tues. night. UGH! Thurs. night she threatened to kill me (whatever, I'm still here, ain't I?) and the Hippie and I had a LONG talk about what he should do. The Mississippi Hippie is awesome on soooo many levels, but I haven't heard from him since Fri. morning, and it's now almost Monday. I hope he's either diffusing the situation with the Ex (because let me tell ya, when she threatened to beat my ass, the cowboy boots, Wranglers, and tank top WERE ON! Plus I had about 30 girls ready to jump in at any moment, which ROCKED!) or he's back with her. Whatever. I have no time for bullshit on my quest for heterosexual companionship.

Tonight I had a great date with a guy I'll call The Flame. Such a sweet guy! Likes Jesus and going out. We talked each other's heads off for 2 straight hours. He has a son that he is crazy about and I like that he's such a good daddy. And he seemed to be genuinely a sweet guy. We talked about how frustrating dating is, how we're happy that our once-single friends are now in major love whoopasses, but that we're waiting on when our Major Love Whoopass is gonna happen. We had a great time and I hope we will go on another date!

Date 57-Gothic Cowboy Time and TMI from A Certain Boy

Tonight Gothic Cowboy and I went out to eat and had a great time. There are times I wished GC wasn't engaged to my best friend years ago, because he's such a great guy and one of my best guy friends. But we'll only be friends and I'm cool with that.

Then tonight the guy that gave me the friends speech a couple of weeks ago I texted just to say hey, and he lets me know he's gotta lady coming over to his house. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT? I know you're putting up some space (as am I) but damn, don't tell me that shit! Now I'm kinda down about it and don't know how to handle it. That shit kinda hurt. I wouldn't let him know I had a guy over, ya know, because I have class and tact (at times.) I told him I hoped they have a great time and left it at that. Guess it's better to know now than to ruin a good white dress.

Date 56-Birthday Beers and Burgers (and some decompressin' time)

Last night I had date #56 with one of my best guy friends who I'll call 'Gothic Cowboy" (he has piercings and tats yet wears ropers and Wranglers. LOL!) GC and I have been friends for years so he and I swapped killing field stories on our dating experiences in the last few months. Needless to say, he still had the best stories. It was awesome to decompress with GC and just talk to another male who's looking for love like me, and get a guy's point of view. I've always said this blog is NOT a man-bashing site at ALL, and I encourage and LOVE when the males on my dating panel of experts chime in with great advice. GC encouraged me to keep dating and to TRUDGE FORWARD, so I think that's what I'm going to do. I'm still going to take a much needed break from dating, at least for another couple of weeks, just to regroup and get my head and heart straight. I will say that taking the focus away from dating this past week has really freed up my time so that I can do other things that I've needed to do. Very cathartic to scratch off those chores/tasks on my "Things to Do" list.
So, I'm gonna take a lil' rest, then dust my britches off and get back out there dating again! Wish me luck!!

So Far So Stressfree Good!

So, after I made my public decree that I wasn't dating anymore, I went out last night and had a BLAST! I wasn't "trolling" for guys who I thought were "potentials." I purposely made an effort to not look at any guys or even acknowledge them (well SOME of them I did because I was at my birthday party and couldn't be rude, ya know.) And I can't tell ya how much stinking fun I had. I was myself. I didn't have my guard up trying to be something I'm not. I was with my best friends who have my best interest at heart and love me for WHO I AM. I danced with everyone at the blues dive and again wasn't trolling for a potential suitor. I think laying low from dating and going out with my good friends and having lots of fun will help me get my bearings together and hopefully rejuvenate me to continue my quest for heterosexual companionship. So, let me know when you're ready to throw down with me. And tomorrow I'm having the "Self Help Love Books Burning and Casserole Swap" Party at my house-burn baby burn! Those books didn't teach me a damn thing-however, reading is always a good thing so there ya go. :)

I Think I'm Done, Y'all

Padre came over last night and gave me the friends speech. Kudos to him for being a MAN and coming to my house in person to tell me this. We're going to remain friends, which is great, because he is a great guy. However, it really disappoints me that this is how all the guys I like end up going-in the friends directions. What the fuck am I doing wrong? Is it me? Do I need to start giving an exit interview so that I can see what's up? I've read all the books, all the articles, listened and watched with fevered fervor to all the talk shows about love and relationships. I've played it cool, I've played the game. I've let the guys pursue me. And all it's done is left me heartbroken.

I tried, y'all, but I'm afraid I came out a loser. I lost. I was proactive, I put myself out there, was open to all things possible. But I wasn't successful in my quest. I don't know if I should stop this anthropological project or not. I just don't know what to do. I think I'm gonna lay low for a couple of weeks, regroup, then see how I feel. I'm too close to my goal and I wanna see this through to fruition. But then I just don't know if the ol' ticker can handle any more upsets. I don't want to end up like the Tin Man, but I can very well see that happening too.

I cannot tell you guys ENOUGH how awesome all of you have been. Keep praying for me and all my "men"-I swear as soon as I date a guy I really like I ask folks to pray for us and that if it's not meant to be then to close this door and open another one and I swear within DAYS those guys are goners. So, I'm making God a part of A Long Shot at Love's dating panel of experts. Oh, and this weekend I'm having a Burning Man with all those self help love books-fuck that noise. I ain't reading another one.

Dates 54 & 55-Wow. Just Wow.

So, I had dates 54 and 55 with Padre. They were so much fun! Date 54 we made chocolate again, and we both talked talked talked talked all night. Then last night he came over and we just talked talked talked talked talked talked! I am really excited about this guy, but am being super trepidatious. I am thinking with my head AND heart and pray a LOT about our relationship. We have decided that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS we will remain friends, so I feel like I'm in a win win situation. I know I've liked a lot of guys and gotten "really excited" about a lot of them, but this one's different. I don't know how but it just is. In a good way. And yeah, I'm really excited about this one. :)

Date 53-Bad Teeth & Bad Pickup Lines, What a Combo!

I had drinks with a guy tonight who was very nice, real funny, a little "over the top" (and if you've ever met me and you know when I SAY it's over the top, it's OVAH DA TOP), had a good job, educated, etc. And y'all, this is gonna sound SO FREAKIN' NARCISSISTIC, but his teeth were TOE UP. Like, I couldn't even LOOK at him without noticing the "teeth." And he kept gnashing around talking and all I could think of is, "He will never get to third base with me. Ever." I'm a stickler for a "purdy mouth" and this guy's grill was WHOO! Bless his pea-pickin' heart. Am I a bad person for only noticing that and not looking at his personality? I mean, he was nice and he "paid for stuff", but I just kept looking at his mouth. I know this sounds mean, and I'm not in this to be mean-spirited AT ALL. Should I go out with him again to see if I can overcome the teeth issue? I mean he's in the public eye-you gotta have a nice smile when you're in the public view. I just feel bad even saying it, but feel like y'all can give me some feedback. But then when I told him I taught, he said, "Oooh, I'd sure like for you to tutor me sometime." I think THAT more than the teeth is what had me at hello.

Date 52-Sexual Chocolate

Padre took me to the candy shop he works at every National Singles Awareness Day (Valentine's Day) and we made chocolate. How cool of a "date" is that? I have not had that much fun in forever. Oh my Gosh. I tore through the samples while Padre encouraged me to "try everything!" I even saw how they make a chocolate penis! Haha! We had a blast. We stayed there for 5 hours just making candy and talking talking talking! So much fun, but don't be fooled by my blog heading, nothing sexual went on last night! :)

Date 51-Padre and Getting Axed Via Text Messaging-how awesome

Padre came over last night and for four hours we just talked and talked! What fun! He's a great guy who's had a mudhole stomped on his heart and walked dry just like I have, so we have a lot in common. He's a great friend and if nothing else ever develops from him, I hope we can stay friends.

I also got "my walking papers" from Dig Dug. He said I'm not bothering him but that his head is messed up and he doesn't wanna hurt me or ruin our friendship. Padre was over at the house when I got the text message from him and pretty much told me that was his "out." So, I'm done with him. And while I'm disappointed, I'm not all that DOWN about it. I didn't go "balls to the wall" and start getting my hopes up. I was very cautious and stayed cautious and made sure my heart stayed in a safe place as to not get hurt. I done good, I think. :)

I do want to add that Dig Dug is going through a lot right now, and sometimes the best thing to get over someone is to get on top of someone else. Time heals all wounds. I really do like him as a friend and hope we can remain friends but if not it's OK. Sometimes we all have to PTFO (Press the Fuck On!)

Date 50-HALFWAY DONE!

My 50th date was awesome!!!!!! I went out with "Padre" to go dancing and had a BLAST! Man he's a good dancer and we even celebrated by drinking champagne (he knows about the blog.) We had a great time!

The latest on my NYE Date: As much as I really REELY like him, I think it's time for him to sail. He blows me off a lot when I try to talk to him online, is real lackadaisical on returning text messages (if I can find time out of MY hectic schedule to tell you hello, then I can PROMISE you can do the same for me.) I'm just tired of making him a priority and him only making me an option. Matter of fact, I'm tired of EVERYONE in my life making me their "option" when I put them on the top priority list. Fuck that noise.

Dig Dug: Well, I don't know what's going on with him, but I tell you one thing-I sure just pumped the brakes on us. I called him the other night because we were both on the road traveling to talk and he acted like he didn't want to speak or that he didn't really wanna speak to me. I just got a super weird vibe from him, ya know? So today, I made the executive decision and sent him a text saying that I knew he was going through a hard time right now and if he needed to talk I would listen. I also told him that if he didn't want to date me that was fine but that I hoped we could be friends. No response as of yet. And if he DOESN'T respond, then that's fine too. I'm all about closure with folks.

Date 49-My belly hurts from laughing!

Last night I had another friendly date with the great guy from Saturday night. We just talked and talked and talked and he is super sweet! I think we're going out again tonight to go dancing and hang out again. He's lots of fun and totally not fake at all-what you see is what you get. Has no airs about him.

And Dig Dug is acting weird again-every time I mention us hanging out still, he never responds. So, guess what? I ain't bringing it up. If he wants to see me, he knows where to find me. My running after men shoes have DONE been hung up and put away. I'm ready to be chased!!!

Date 48-Baby, Don't Ya Panic, Cuz I'm Ya Shade Tree Mechanic

I had lunch today with a really nice guy and he's REELLLY sweet, but again no sparks. DAMN! I am meeting really nice, sweet, funny, outgoing, etc. guys, but they are just not cranking my tractor. However, I'm totally done with dating bad boys too. I wonder why it is I'm not attracted to these guys who are x,y,z. I mean, that's what I'm looking for, right?

I will say that all of this dating is giving me a lower-bullshit tolerance. No more are the days where I'm putting up with mess because of whatever reason. Nope, those days are gone. If you "run up, you gone get done up", as my kids at school say. So, if I come out of this "killing field" alive with no man by my side, then it was all worth it to learn not to put up with bullshit, from men or anyone else for that matter.

And my New Year's Eve date? History!

Dates 46 &47-One was Fun, One was NOT Fun

I had Date 46 with a guy I've given 3 chances to get to know him and see if any sparks fly, but I just don't like him like that. We went to dinner the other night and it was good, but I still wasn't feeling it. Bummer.

Last night I went on a friendly date with my guy friend and we had a BLAST dancing all over the place. Those dates are the best because you're not trying to impress each other-you're just having a good time and enjoying the music and company.

Now, to Dig Dug. We hang out all last weekend, hang out one night this week and had fun, now I don't hear from him in 2 days. WTH? I am getting so fucking tired of this mess. The waiting game. The "game" in general. I mean, what happened to meeting someone and you both date and like each other? Maybe I'm just feeling a little down because my best friends (3 this year) have found love and are over the moon happy and "I'll have what she's having." All in due time, I guess. Again I can't say that dating is both fun AND miserable. There's no in-between with me. However I am being super proactive more so than most people, so I guess you win some, you lose some. It just hurts because all I'm looking for is a good man with a good heart. That's not a lot to ask for. I'm starting to doubt if they make good guys anymore.

Boys. What in hell are you thinking, you motherf**kin piece of no good sh*t.......

Tonight I had who I thought was a nice guy send me a video of him MASTURBATING and then ejaculating. That's a first. WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE? I am so mad I can't stand it. He says he was drunk and asked me to delete the email, but then I had no clue as to what he was sending me, so i was like yeah, send it. Jesus on the Cross, what and who in hell does that shit? UGGGHGHHHH!!!

Then Saturday I was at a gay bar and some guy gave me a note from another guy that said, "Hey, I'm Wally. Gonna be in town for a few days. And I NOT GAY!" LMAO! Too funny!!!! I am loving these pick up lines!

Date 45-I'm digging on some Dig Dug

I had date 45 with Dig Dug the other night. We went to a bar with some friends and had a blast, then came back to my house and talked. So sweet, so so so sweet. Again, I don't wanna rush into anything too soon, because there's another guy I really like to, but has made it clear to me he just wants to be friends for now and build a relationship out of friendship, which I like. I haven't heard from DD since yesterday, so I'm giving him the 3 day rule. Again, we shall see.

Date 44-Dead Irish Blues & Tummyaches

Tonight Dig Dug (or as my bf and I who can't hear well refer to him as Dick Duck) had a great date. We went to hear a local band play, then came back to my house and watched a movie. Man, he is awesome, too!! And is super freakin' sweet!!! However, we are both being very cautious as to how we handle ourselves. Neither one of us want to rush into anything. He is so damn sweet though. Precious! I am pretty excited, plus he thinks I'm cool and gorgeous (his words not mine.) How can you NOT like someone who thinks that about ya? :)
Once again, we shall see. We shall see.

Date 43-Pure Dee Awesomeness!!!

I had a date last night with an awesome guy! I mean, AWESOME! Tall, handsome, a total gentleman (opened doors, helped me take my jacket off when we arrived at the restaurant, would grab me and pull me toward him when people were walking by, would hold my hand, played resident photographer, and danced with me on the dance floor.) I had a blast-chivalry is NOT dead, Praise Jesus! "Alex" says he wants to build a strong foundation of friendship first before he starts a relationship, and I just think that is super. What a concept-Friends First! Alex is a great Christian guy, and he's very nice. Everyone was blowing my phone up asking who was that good lookin' man I was out with! I jokingly referred to him as my "man candy." :)

We shall see. I really really really am curious to see where this goes. And some dude today had the NERVE to say I was using these guys I'm going out with. For the record, even if I wasn't blogging I would still have gone on 43 dates. I am looking for LOVE, dammit!! I jokingly say I have a "quota" to meet, but I can pull the plug on this in a heartbeat. I'm very defensive when it comes to my "anthropological project." Apparently he don't get it, so I'm PTFO (pressing the f**k on!)