Wednesday, September 30, 2009

#5-Textual Harrassment & Nice Guys

My #5 date was with a guy who, an hour before we were to meet, decides to just randomly tell me that he is jobless and lives with his mom. Way to get me fired up about the date!! We met up, made small talk, then HE WAS TEXTING THE ENTIRE TIME! Then, he ate all my fries, and then when I ordered a beer but didn't want it he just took it and started drinking it. Didn't even have the upbringing to ask me if he could have it. The date started at 6 p.m. The date ended at 6:49 p.m. Now he's texting saying he really wants a girl that will please him and "can't wait to see me again." And then he called me sugar britches. Well, he TEXTED me that I was "sugar britches." This now concludes the dating portion of the evening.

On a positive note, I have been talking to a guy and we've been trying to go out, but he/I have always had something on the nights the other one didn't. The guy called tonight to see about getting together this weekend, but then told me he had a lot going on, as do I. So, he then calls back and politely tells me that because our schedules are so crazy right now that he thinks we should maybe try again at a later date to meet. KUDOS KUDOS KUDOS!! I have NEVER had a guy be so nice and straightforward with me in my WHOLE LIFE! He was so nice about everything, and told me he didn't want to lead me on at all. Now I want to MEET this guy because he's straight up!

It was a ying/yang night tonight.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

#4-Another date with #3

So, last night "Rock Band" (he loves this game) and I go out to eat at a great little restaurant. I'm very excited about having a 2nd date, which is something I haven't had in quite awhile. We then drove around listening to music and just talking. It was really sweet. I told him that he didn't have to buy me dinner every time we hung out, and he said, "Well, I want to treat you the way you should be treated because you seem like a great girl." (Insert "sigh" here with your hands over your heart.)

Tonight RB wanted to see me but I had a LOT of things to do tonight, so we couldn't hang out. However, I'm a little concerned that this is WAY too much WAY too soon (again, I'm not used to 2nd dates, guys texting/calling me, being NICE to me) so I'm thinking that's why my hairy feelers are up. We'll see how this plays out. Stay tuned.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

#3-I Thnk I'm Turning Chinese I Really Think So

Date #3 was with a nice guy I met through some friends. We went and ate Chinese food which was awesome! He seemed very nervous on our date, which was kinda sweet. I had boots on and he was STILL taller than me (booyah!) He has a job and loves music, which is a good thing! We talked about music and our television shows (we love just about the same things-cool points right there), our jobs, etc. He opened the door for me and escorted me to my car (things a guy is SUPPOSED to do, in case some missed the memo!) He has a dry sense of humor, but it's not too dry. He texted me to tell me he had a great time and can't wait for us to hang out again. Kudos to #3 for being so sweet, holding the door for me, keeping the conversation going, and walking me to my car. He is very quiet and reserved so I'm not sure if he can handle me, but we shall see.........

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

From the mind and soul of Date #1 (AKA BoGo)

I, Dean Swift, from beyond the grave am receiving the thoughts of BoGo...

There are a few things that I can't get enough of, hot chicks and cheap food. I mean, I'm a red-blooded American man. What else should I be thinking about (other than maybe bass fishin' and NASCAR)? So the other day, while my girlfriend is off doin' whatever it is that chicks do when they're not worshipin' yours truly, I saddled up the Internet for ride through hottie-town, better known as And right there I find the prettiest thing I've seen in a while, a young Phillie named Natalie. I threw out the line and she hit the bait. Since I had a bunch of coupons for my favorite casual dining eateries, I picked a good one and made a date. When we got there I made sure to let the waitresses know that there would be a big tip in it for 'em if they made sure to hype me up when I got up to return some of my beer (if you know what I mean). It must have worked and them ladies earned every cent of that dollar! She was all smiles when I gave her my best lines about the cell phone, text messages and gettin' sexy! I made sure she knew I was a pure-bred ladies man by captivatin' her with stories about all my past lady friends and how much they liked pleasin' me. Yep, chalk up another one in the "win" column. I'd say "Coupon well spent!"


We all know there are at least two sides to every story. The love life of our dear Natalie is no exception. Since her suitors are anonymous, I am here to give them voice. My persona in this endeavour is Dean Swift, posting from the great beyond. Mr. Swift was a great satirist in his day and now from spirit world he can read the thoughts of Natalie's dates and post their thoughts here. Think of the posts as a séance of love with me as your humble medium channeling forth the innermost thoughts of the ghosts of dates past.

Enjoy - Dean Swift

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My Favorite All-Time Dates

I'm listing in no particular order some of the dates that I've had that were an absolute blast! I have been dating "legally" (which means how long my mama and daddy actually know that I've been dating) for 16 years, so I will try to remember all of them.

1.) Mud riding in a guy's Toyota in the back of a field
2.) Going to Sunset at Symphony, sitting on a blanket with a bottle of wine, underneath the trees and stars of The Cedars Mansion
3.) Motorcycle riding (Harley, of course) all over South MS.
4.) Going to different concerts
5.) PROM NIGHT (9th through 12th grades!)
6.) Coon hunting and deer hunting (well, really I was with 3 other guys, but it was still a lot of fun!)
7.) Playing Pub Quiz at Hal and Mal's
8.) Staying in and watching a movie
9.) Trying sushi for the very first time and loving it!
10.) Driving the Natchez Trace in the fall on a Sunday afternoon
11.) Going to watch Mississippi State play in The Peach Bowl in Atlanta
12.) Attending the Crossroads Film Festival

**I"m sure more will come to me as I think about this topic and peruse old diaries for info!!**

What have been some of your most favorite dates and what ideas can you give me for creative dating locations/things to do?

Monday, September 21, 2009

New Date Coming Up!!

I'm going on Date #3 with a "REEELY" cute guy this week!! Any suggestions as to where we can go? What can we do? He hangs out at some really nice places, but doesn't go out much. What I'm digging about this guy is that he DIALS MY TELEPHONE NUMBER AND IT RINGS AND I PICK UP THE PHONE AND I HEAR HIS VOICE ON THE OTHER END AND WE SAY WORDS TO EACH OTHER THAT MAKE UP A CONVERSATION. What happened to calling a girl to actually "talk" to her instead of texting, instant messaging, emails, etc.? He's already scoring points with me on that part. Any and all suggestions would be helpful for this upcoming date. And also, I was told that red high heels will land a man. Fact or fiction?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Date #2-Gotta Let Your Soulshine

Date #2 consisted of me having a great time with a guy who's funny, as tall as me, has a J-O-B, easy to talk to, wasn't pretensious, has the bluest eyes, and joked around with me in a way that didn't cross boundaries. I didn't feel nervous around him at all. I met him and his friend at a local pizza parlor to listen to a band-very laid back atmosphere, with good people, good tunes, and good food. He said he had fun as well and that we need to hang out more often, so I was excited to hear that. KUDOS to this guy for having a great first date! He was attentive, was not shy at all, initiated conversation, insisted that I try a slice of his pizza (shared), and really tried his best to ensure that I had a great time. If anything I have a new guy friend to hang around with, have a good time with, and can be myself.

Date #1-The Equal or Lesser Value Guy

I met this guy through a social network. He saw my pic on one of his friend's pages and sent me a friend request. He asked me out at the beginning of August, but my schedule was tied up the entire month. We finally decided to meet and go out on Sept. 7th (Labor Day.) He picked the restaurant and location, which was halfway between our places. As I meet this guy, he's not a bad-looking fellow, but when he starts to talk I know immediately this date is on the Highway to Hell. While I appreciated his compliments of me, I felt that they went way overboard WAY too quickly within the first five minutes of us meeting. I told him that I texted more than I talked, and his opening joke to break the ice was "Text messagin' on ma'phone is like oral sex. I can receive but I can't send." I was speechless. Really, #1? He had apparently been talking me up to the waitstaff because every time he got up to use the bathroom, make a "business call" (we'll get to that later), or go to the salad bar, the sweet little waitress would come over and ask, "Do you like him? He is so cute! I can tell he is REALLY into you." "Aw, sweet," is what I said, but "Aw shit" was what I was thinking.

When it was time to order, he directed me to a particular section of the menu to choose "whutevur yu wont, darlin." I thought this was odd, seeing I only had 6 things to choose from, but hey, he was paying so I ordered from said section. Then #1 starts talking about the relationship he is currently in with a girl he's having problems with. Said they had been broken up for about a week. I pointed out that he had started asking me out AT THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST, which would've put him in a relationship at the time he was trying to get me to go out with him. "Well, uh, uh, uh" was his response to that. THEN, as my meal is placed in front of me, I asked him why he was unhappy, to which he goes into detail about his girlfriend's "lady problems" (and I'm leaving it at that.) As the sweet little waitress walks by, I ask for a to-go box after hearing what I had just heard. My appetite and attention span were now gone.

It's time for the check (Thank God), I've already gotten my papers that I've started grading in mid-date organized, and my to-go box is packed. It is time for me to bounce. When the check comes, #1 whips out A COUPON for our meal, then says, "There's plenty where THESE came from!", winks at me, and then pays with our meal. With a coupon. At a family restaurant fast food chain where you can already eat there for under $15. He asked if he could see me again because I was so pretty, fun, adventurous, etc., but I told him that since he already had a girlfriend we should just be friends. And I have avoided his phone calls ever since. No more Buy One Get One dates for me.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Introduction to My Blog

Sept. 7th, 2009: It was one of the worst dates I had ever had. I was tired of looking for love, tired of finding all the assholes, and was just tired of being tired. As I came home from this particular date in a Seasonique rage, I texted my neighbors to tell them of my "night on the town." I was quickly invited over to tell my side of the story, and get some "bless your hearts" before I stomped up the street to my house for bedtime. As I'm talking to my fab neighbors, I get this great idea that since I have all these amazing, hilarious dating stories, that they should not just be for my friends' ears. The world needs to hear about my misadventures in the love department. My neighbor Tom decided it was such a great idea, but that the men's version of the date needed to be heard as well (the old "2 sides to every story" kinda deal.) So, to make our dreams come true, I have decided to go out on 100 dates this year, starting September 7th 2009, and I will blog about each date on here. Tom will give the guy's side of the story. So, here we go!