So, after a great date with Holy Grail on Sunday, I hadn't heard from him since then, and started to get a little worried. From the day we met we've talked every day, so not hearing from him for a day or two made my hairy feelers come up. So, today I just sent him a text telling him Happy Veterans Day (he served in Iraq) and if everything was OK with us since I hadn't heard from him. Via TEXT MESSAGE this is what he tells me: : "Well, I just think we may be looking for different things. I just want to see someone I can see every once in a while (that's code for sex.) I don't really wanna be in a relationship. Also, I'm pretty sure I'll never get married again. It's only fair that you know that. "
Here are my issues: Don't get on a dating service and SAY you're looking for a "soulmate" if that's not your intentions. It's misleading and you're misrepresenting yourself to others who truly are looking for love. Second, Holy Grail told me he likes me and wants to take things slow. I've played it cool and let HIM doing the pursuing. I told him from the first date that I was looking for something long term, so he knew this up front. Plus he seemed to infer that he was looking for long-term love as well. GRRR!!
This is the advice I need: he's got my grandmother's bowl that I put some leftover food in from Sun. night for him to eat. He said he'd give it back. How do I go about getting it back? Also, how should I respond? My dating panel of experts (Dean, Charlie, the BAM Girls, and The Unholy Trinity) are telling me to get the bowl back and be nice (which, of course I am). What else should I do? Advice is super needed. I'm just so hurt but in a way glad it all came out in the wash. Ya know? Looks like my blog is back on!!!!
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Ouch. He texted you that? Then he is clearly *not* the Holy Grail. But at least he let you realize that there are fellows out there. And, yeah, it does sound like maybe he was saying what he thought the gals would want to hear in order to get some action. But he needs to know that there are gals who want just that, so he just should be clear up front next time--I mean, you were clear with what you were looking for. You deserve the same. I feel very strongly that each experience is preparing in you some way for what's next. He was just getting you ready for someone else. Now you know that you *can* get giddy and take it slow, and how you should be treated, so when the next/actual HG comes along, you'll be ready! Promise. I speak from experience.
ReplyDeleteNow, as for the Great Bowl Dilema. Yikes! I think you just tell him you need it back. And make him get it to you. Don't you go get it. But be cordial. Just let him know that you need your bowl back and would appreciate its expeditious return. It's like a business transaction at this point.
Yeah, he said he'd bring the bowl back. I told him no hard feelings, that we could be friends, and that I was still going to beat him at pool (we played pool on our 2nd date and I beat him pretty bad.)
ReplyDeleteCool. Way to maintain the upper hand. :)
ReplyDeleteAt least he was honest now, I guess, but he's a few weeks late. Playing the whole "soulmate" thing when he's out to get laid is really, really low.
ReplyDeleteMen suck sometimes. I'm sorry.
Yeah, I fell in love with one of those guys who thought we could just be best friends who also had sex... For the record, we are definitely best friends now, but it was a long, hard road for me to get there...
ReplyDelete